October 4, 2012

Anxiety

I'm going to try keep this brief. If you haven't read my story about the time I could have died yet, you might want to do that first, you can't do that here

It has been a crazy few days. Ever since I had my radio active iodine procedure done two Fridays ago I have had this feeling of my throat closing/swelling which makes it difficult to breathe on top of my asthma. Saturday I was in the ER and treated for an asthma attack. Was set up for a breathing treatment, IV steroids .. ran tests. They told me everything was fine, and that I as feeling this way because my thyroid levels were all out of whack .. they set me home with no answers. I continued to feel short of breath constantly, very anxious feeling, and the tightness in my throat was still there. 

I just dealt with it hoping it would go away. My doctor decided to try anxiety medications (hyperthyroidism can cause anxiety) .. so I was on my way from work to get gas, to pick up the medication she had called in and go home and relax .. 

Well, that didn't happen. I ran out of gas .5 miles from the gas station .. I was already short of breath and feeling like there was a tremendous amount of weight on my chest. So I'm sitting in a warm car with no air circulation and my breathing is just getting worse (I was making it worse with my anxiety on top of my asthma) .. So I ended up calling 911 .. 

I was stuck, I knew I couldn't wait for anyone to bring me gas because I felt like I couldn't breathe at all. 

The guys in the ambulance were a bunch of jerks, they weren't taking me seriously .. it was if though they thought I was bullshitting. Which was pissing me off even more, I"m sitting here, you can see I can't breathe my oxygen level is low, but not dangerously low .. your job is to help me .. not make it seem like I just "need to calm down". Is it not their job to make things better? Well they sure didn't.

I got to the hospital and they started running a bunch of test, blood work, xray, EKG, and more. Everything was coming back normal, except my thyroid levels which were all out of whack because of having this procedure done. But still, they said that I should not still be feeling this way after having the procedure done. Everything was coming back normal, my oxygen level was btwn 97-100 the whole time but I was still feeling like I was unable to breathe. It was like there was so much weight on my chest and I just couldn't catch my breath. It's a scary feeling after what I've been through to have that feeling all over again. 

So, I am now home. They gave me some anxiety medication which seems to be helping a little bit. But I'm so tired of living this way. Everyone keeps telling me I'm too young to feel this way & to have all these problems. I'm so tired of people worrying about me as if I don't worry about myself. When I worry about myself, It's because I know how I'm feeling, but when other people worry about me, it makes me realize how serious this is. I don't want to continue to feel this way. 

How can I not have this feeling of anxiety after I was so close to losing my life before? How can I not worry that it's not going to happen again, because what it happens, there is no stopping it.

Has anyone else had experience with anxiety? How did you deal with it and did it work for you?


1 comment:

  1. I don't have much experience with anxiety, but I also have had a lot of health problems over the years.
    Two years ago, I walked into a glass door, had to have my nose reset and somehow ended up with trigeminal neuralgia. Your blog post reminded me of my experience with it. For months, I was in pain and cried myself to sleep most nights because my face was in so much pain. Finally after a few trips to the ER, the doctors finally did something and figured out what was wrong. It was super annoying because if they had actually listened to me in the first place, it wouldn’t have lasted for as long as it did. While dealing with the pain and waiting for the doctors, I ended up seeing a message therapist, homeopath, chiropractor and osteopath. It was all very expensive, but was worth it. The medicine I was given helped short-term until, but everything else made the difference.
    Most recently, I found out that I have a nodule on my thyroid and am waiting to see a specialist. I am always tired and just not feeling that well. I hate it. Rather than waiting for my appointment with the specialist, I went to see a homeopath the other day – she has given me this remedy that is supposed to help with hyper and hypo thyroids. I start it tonight, so I don’t know if it will work or not, but I am hoping it does. Have you tried exploring natural options?
    Hope you feel better soon.

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